Why am I always positive? How come I deal with situations so well? Why do I never get upset? Why does everything seem so cruisy? What’s behind this attitude? I realise that some of these ideas are not so common and natural to everyone. Some of them come from experience, some of them come from the books I’ve read and some of them are inspired by people I’ve met along the way. Without further delay, these are the 25 unusual rules I live by.
- Do little things that fill your soul every day.
Whether it’s going for a dip in the ocean, getting a good coffee, reading a book, eating a doughnut or going for a walk. You’d be surprised how much of a difference to your day those little things make.
It’s a gesture, it’s a gesture towards yourself that you making your soul a priority.
Key word – every day.
- Go all in or don’t do it at all.
Never half-assing anything, I’m always either all in or I don’t bother. You can’t fake passion.
- Book the flights and worry about the details later.
Will I have time off? Can I afford it? What will I do there?
Doesn’t matter, book the flights and worry about the details later.
Obviously, I’m aware that some people can’t do that because of serious life commitments. But they are usually just an excuse. If you want, you’ll find a way. And travelling, for me, is the most intense form of learning and is definitely worth money and the effort you need to put in it.
- The more you worry about money, the more will money cause you to worry.
This might blow some people’s minds but we make money to spend them, and most of us are fortunate enough that we make enough to live comfortably. For me, worrying about money, saving money and stressing out about them implies that you won’t have them later. Which is not true. Money comes and goes, we need to keep the flow going. Obviously, don’t be ridiculous but the happiness you get from little pleasures, the benefits you get from travelling are worth more than savings in your bank account.
- When there’s no significant reason to say ‘no’, say ‘yes’.
Sometimes you don’t want to, you don’t feel like it or you can’t… but otherwise, always say yes, crazy experiences, invites for weird events, why not, there’s always so much to learn from throwing yourself in new situations.
- Do whatever feels right in that given moment, even though rational thinking might say otherwise.
I know some people have long term plans. I am not afraid to change them and do whatever feels right. Whether that’s moving to a different country or changing a job. If you always do what makes you happy, you will be always satisfied with your life.
- No failures, just lessons.
- When standing in front of two options, choose the one that will help you grow.
Not afraid of changes or risks. If it will help me grow, I’m heading right that way. And an easy one will never help you grow.
- Turn the page.
Shit happens, things upset you, misfortune doesn’t avoid you. That’s normal. But it’s important to realise, life goes on, there’s nothing you can do about something that already happened. Reflect, maybe be angry for 5-10 minutes, learn the lesson and move on. There is no reason to dwell on the problem.
Didn’t get a job? Reflect why, learn from it, move on, apply for another one.
Broke your laptop? Okay, be upset, say goodbye, it’s gone, look for a solution.
It lifts weight from your shoulders when you realise that you don’t actually have to spend more time being upset.
- Compared with being diagnosed with cancer, how big is this problem?
This comparison is very strongly imbedded in real-life situation when everything seemed very trivial compared to this specific problem that I was dealing with within my close circle.
And this perspective stuck in my mind. Not that I would be directly comparing everything to being diagnosed with cancer, but the realisation that no problems are actually that serious, stuck.
Very few things seem like real problems to me these days. Most of the things that happen to us every day and easily solvable and not at all fatal. We are actually very lucky.
- Just do your best and you’re doing enough.
I stopped measuring myself against outside goals or objective achievements and wins. That often puts so much pressure on you and, to be honest, makes you feel shit about yourself.
You can’t win all the competitions and be the best at everything. That’s impossible. And if you make that your goal, you’re bound to be unhappy.
When I’m stressing out about something, feel under pressure, or feel like I can’t do something, I always think to myself, “Can I do my best? Yes, I can. So just do that. Don’t worry about the rest.”
- If it’s not within your control, it’s not worthy of your energy.
All the energy that you spend on things that you cannot influence could be spent on things that you actually can influence and that makes so much more sense.
Complaining about things that are not within your control is useless, it’s not gonna change the situation, it’s not gonna help, it’s actually gonna make you more unhappy. It’s a self-sabotage. Next time you think about complaining about weather, prices and other outside conditions, rather think about things that you can influence.
- If you’re not happy, change it, you’re not a tree.
It’s always within your control to change it, you’re never stuck at the same place. Make a decision, take risks.
- What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Anytime I’m scared to do something, I always visualise what’s the possible worst-case scenario. And it’s never that bad. It’s always solvable.
When I was nervous about moving to Australia, I thought, what’s the worst thing that could happen? I don’t find a job, I run out of money, I fly home. I just had a month holiday in Australia. That’s not that bad at all.
- When there’s no enemy from within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
You’re your own biggest enemy. Other people’s opinions can only harm you if you yourself are not happy. If you stay true to yourself and eliminate the problems and doubts coming from within, nothing from outside can hurt you.
- Worrying is a self-fulfilling prophecy – the things that we fear, we blindly inflict on ourselves.
Positive mind attracts positive things. The more time you spend worrying about something, the more likely it is to happen. Stay confident and positive and the world around you will do the same.
- The goal is to be able to live with a perspective in your mind in the present moment.
You know when you get angry at someone and then a few hours later you regret it because now you have that perspective and distance. The goal is to be able to live with that in the present moment. To value things you have today as you would appreciate them from a perspective of a few years later. Not to worry about things that wouldn’t matter in a few years. And to be able to realise that now.
- Everything that upsets you is a product of your imagination.
Nothing in the outside world is upsetting/ negative / annoying within itself. For the thing to be so, it needs your participation. Good news, we can totally influence how we regard these things.
Everything is just in your head and if you make up for mind that something isn’t negative but positive because you learn from it, it will be so.
- Staying calm is your superpower.
If you cannot upset me, you cannot control me. Being calm is my power.
- Trust your gut, it will make sense later.
Not everything makes rational sense in the present but sometimes you feel like you need to do it. When in doubt, I always trust what my gut is telling me, whether it feels right, that if I flipped a coin, what outcome would I hope for while the coin is mid-air.
You know about those random decisions you made in the past? And you can see where they’ve lead you. Don’t worry about the bigger picture now, it will make sense later.
- Everything is temporary, we just live as if it wasn’t.
Sounds a bit grim but everything in life is temporary. Your job, your friends, people you hate, people you love. Things or people, they come and go. Therefore, we should make the most of what we have right now and the things that upset us will not last, so they don’t matter anyway.
Present is all you’ve got. Make sure you don’t miss out on it, because it’s not coming back.
- Stay humble.
You’re never “too good” to do anything, never get too cocky, always stay humble, always be open to learn.
I’m grateful for all the shitty experiences, disgusting toilets while travelling, terrible hostels, washing dishes at work… keep your head down, stay humble.
- Never stop learning.
Learning helps you grow, challenges you and keeps you humble because there’s always things you don’t know. Don’t be afraid to be a beginner and admit you don’t know something.
Learning new sports, new languages, looking for new challenges helps you grow. We are humans and we want to feel like we’re improving, it inherently feels good.
- Prioritise sleep.
Lack of sleep makes you grumpy, more stupid, slower, moody, more irritable, hungry and less productive. It influences you so much without being even conscious of it or being able to influence it. Have some self-respect and make sure you get enough sleep. At least most of the time.
- Only talk if you have things to say.
Shameless Instagram plug: https://www.instagram.com/sunshine__susan/